We all do it. Whether you know it or not. We judge, we assume, and we look down.
The breastfeeding mom will always be doing what’s “healthiest.” The stay-at-home mom will always be the most involved parent. There are so many rules; baby carrying or not, use the cry it out method or don’t, co-sleep or crib train. Juice or no juice. Enroll them in daycare or not. And we all seem to have strong opinions about each of these topics. Why are we so hard on moms who choose to do things a little differently than us?
I remember when I was pregnant with my first. For some reason, one of the most frequently asked questions was “What are you going to do about work when the baby is here?” Zach and I had discussed this since before we were married and decided what we wanted for our family was for me to stay at home with the kids. At least until they were in school. I usually got two responses when I told them I’d be a stay-at-home mom. “As you should be. That is the greatest job there is.” And “Oh, so you’re not going to work and your husband is going to work for the both of you?” I remember being taken back by the latter response at the time. And now looking back, I’m even uncomfortable with the first response. I know plenty of working moms and they are some of the greatest mothers I know. While staying at home is a great, wonderful and rewarding job, it is just one of the many ways to make a family work.
I know now that no one was intentionally trying to hurt my feelings when they made their comment to me. They just had different backgrounds and ways of doing things but it did hurt. I was worried about what others thought about my role as Zach’s wife and the role I would soon take on as my son’s mother.
We are so concerned with what other moms are doing. We are judging, we are correcting, we are doubting our own abilities when we should only be concerned with one opinion. And that is from the one who formed us. Who knew us and set us apart from before the beginning. Christ strictly lays out our role as parents.
Proverbs 22: 6 “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 13:24 “Whoever spares the rod, hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.”
Titus 2:7 “Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned.”
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
There will always be opinions. Popular ones and unpopular. The internet is full of forums, articles, and websites that tell you how to parent your children. But you don’t need the internet to tell you how to be the mother to your babies. Christ already tells us exactly what we need to do as parents.
So let’s stop the mom-bashing. At the end of the day whether or not you breastfeed. Whether your child is in day care or not. Whether you are a single mom, a working mom, or a stay at home mom. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are the examples Christ calls you to be for your precious innocent babies. To train them up in the Word. To show them Christ’s love and how to love Christ themselves.
Let us encourage each other instead of tear down.
I found this video to be very eye-opening. Take a look and encourage a fellow mommy today! And remember you ARE doing it right as a mother!